Recovery
I’ve joined a recovery blog-ring and it’s kind of got me thinking about my recovery and what I’ve been doing about it lately. The truth is that I haven’t been doing much of anything in the traditional AA/NA recovery path. I haven’t been going to meetings since around Christmas. The literature I read isn’t AA or NA literature any more, at least for the most part. Every now and then I go back to the Big Book, but most of my reading nowadays is more in the vein of generic new-age spirituality.
I wonder now and then if this is okay. Part of my un-learning of my old way of life is to try to avoid labels and religious organization that I feel can help, but eventually hinders the aspirant. Dogma is not something I feel comfortable with any more. So, I guess part of my path for the last couple years has been to find out what I want and what I believe in and it’s hard for me to do that when I’m around a lot of other people who are telling me what to believe in. I’m still at that young impressionable age! 
Another part of my “problem” is that I’ve really had a hard time getting into the meetings here in Omaha. I know that this has to do with me, not the meetings here, but I still haven’t overcome this. Right now I’m not sure I want to, either.
But, I still do a lot of things right. I am able to share honestly with my wife. I read my spiritual books daily. I’ve started searching for recovery blogs on the internet. I pray and meditate regularly, most of the time. 
I may be resting on some of my previous laurels, as Bill put it, but I still do some work, too. So I guess I’m okay for now. It’s been so long since I’ve wanted to drink or drug, I can’t remember when that was, and in some respects, my previous life seems sometimes like it was someone else’s. But in the end, it was mine. And I’m grateful that I don’t live like that anymore.
Life is sweet.
greetings.
i can relate to your dislike for indoctrinating religious/faith communites. in some way, NA/AA is indeed an indoctrinating program. truth is, however, when most of us get here, we need someone to think for us, suggest to us, and hit us over the head with the next right thing. then, i recover some and begin to see the ‘new way of life’ and it becomes part of my daily choices. my routine. i have say before, the chaos of my using had been replaced by the routine of recovery.
so, then what? for me i still do the NA thing for several reasons. first, to remind me of what my life was and could again be like. i need to be reminded that the daily choices i make either take me to light and freedom, or away from it. the meetings remind me of the seriousness of the choices i make. secondly, i believe in helping others, and i go to meetings to ‘hit people over the head’ with suggestions that might save thier life, until they can find the new way for themselves. thirdly, i’m still a little afraid of what might happen to me if a stray too far from the basics. my first sponsor relapsed after 5 years clean, and his life is deep in chaos now. finally, after hanging around a while, i have found some people in the program who are seeking to take their recovery to the next level….ummm…next step, if you will. these are folks for whom the drugs are no longer the issue, but rather finding a deeper spiritual existance. this network of my program is made up of people from all sorts of faith traditions and we challange and support each other well.
of course, i have been hangin around in the same area, going to the same meetings long enought to hook up with these folks.
anyway, i’m truly greatful to have found you and glad that you are hanging around here. you have much to offer to my recovery. thanks.
Theophany said this on July 25th, 2002 at 1:25 pm
almost forgot,,,Pres. Bushy came through my town today. i felt a tremor in the Force.
Theophany said this on July 25th, 2002 at 1:27 pm