Which way is up?
It’s been a very confusing time for me. So much good is going on in my life, most notably the coming of my first child next month. Jenni and I have been married for almost three years and we just passed the two year mark in our first house. It’s been an amazing journey together. I never thought I’d ever find someone like her. I never thought that anyone would love me like she does and I never thought I would love someone else like I love her. We have so much.
And at the same time we live in a world gone mad, and I know that I am part of this madness. I read the papers and sometimes I get so angry I can’t stand it. For example, I hate the Consuming Machine that we have become in this country, but I do the same thing. Spend, spend, spend, and now I’m paying, paying, paying for it. It’s madness, but I’m right in there with most everyone else.
I don’t want to talk much of the coming war, but what we are doing scares the hell out of me. I never thought I’d see the United States starting a war like this. But, in keeping with my somewhat meandering topic, I am not much of a bringer of peace. Lately, there have been times when I am anything but loving and peaceful. I don’t act out on it much, but I have days when I’m thinking nothing but hateful thoughts about people. Old people in my store, our President and most other politicians…..just people in general. And when I start thinking that I’m the only sane one, boy am I in trouble.
Sometimes life seems utterly absurd. Why are we here? To learn lessons? To buy stuff? To love? To have fun? Just when I think I know, I get the rug pulled out from under……again. How can I want more when I have everything a man could ever want, right here?
And then, from nowhere, I get quiet. I remember. Life is good, even in the middle of a whirlwind. I can find peace anywhere. I can find love anywhere. Because they live in me. And when that happens, I don’t need to denigrate anyone (except maybe Bush ;-P j/k) because everything is perfect as it is right now. And I remember that I don’t need a new stereo and ten DVDs. I remember that the love of my life is in the other room carrying my son, and that is where I’m going right now.
Thank you Lord
That is the sweetest thing I have ever read. Literally brought a tear to my eye. I am so happy for you both.
Jill said this on March 11th, 2003 at 2:43 pm
What a sweet post!
daisy said this on March 11th, 2003 at 4:41 pm
good stuff, dan
jenni is lucky to have you as a hubby.
reese said this on March 11th, 2003 at 5:16 pm
a man of heart and caring.
well spoken.
Theo said this on March 24th, 2003 at 1:47 pm
I only wish my husband spoke words like those you have written. Jenni is a lucky gal.
Rayne said this on March 25th, 2003 at 9:35 am